The "Best Friend" Test
“Would I be doing this right now if my best friend were here?”
It’s one of the most helpful questions I can ask myself, when I remember it!
I just had a friend staying with me for the last week. Daily sunrise surfs, meditation, casual breakfasts, all screen-free.
And then today, the morning he left, I found myself on my phone...being “productive”, as I sipped my coconut water after surfing.
Would I be doing this if my buddy were still here? Nope, sure wouldn’t! He doesn’t want to see me on my phone, I want to spend qt with him, he knows how I feel doing it and doesn’t want that for me, either.
This question is the ultimate fast-track to self-compassion. My closest friend, who knows me best, cares for me deeply, what would I be doing with him around?
In fairness, I’d meditated and it was 10 a.m., but still, I was hungry. I was bummed my buddy had left. The phone was not the remedy. I knew because I felt tense as I was using it. And it’s not always like that. If I’d let myself socialize, enjoy my meal, take Barkley for a walk first like usual, it would have felt much differently. I know, because that’s the norm. That’s what my best friend would want for me. Also in fairness, I’m pretty pumped to be here. 10 years ago I literally wasn’t giving myself 10 minutes at any point in my day 🙃
It’s been through this self-compassion that I can ultimately say ‘no’ more and more to the voice pushing to be productive, ultimately self-sabotaging. I’ll try channeling my inner buddy tomorrow, giving myself what I truly need, and see how we go :)